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Article on assisted delivery

As a birth coach I live and breathe birth, I 100% truly believe that our bodies are built to give birth, but I also fully understand that on the big day some shitty curve balls can be thrown in and you may need to hand over to the medical professionals for assistance. 

My first birth was great, it certainly wasn’t text book but it was great. I had completed my Wise Hippo birthing course and had moved from being petrified to give birth, to being full on excited when my waters broke. I laboured beautifully at home and on arrival at the hospital I was 9cm and almost ready to give birth. 

Unfortunately my body had other ideas. 

I hate hospitals, I just don’t feel safe in them and my body knew this and was beginning to stall my labour. I was worn like a glove by countless medical professionals who kept telling me that they couldn’t work out why my baby wasn’t coming out. 

I pushed and pushed for hours until I felt I was ready to hand over to the medical professionals and agreed to a forceps delivery. 

I walked out of that hospital with my baby with absolutely no questions surrounding my birth, I knew I had done everything that I could have done, using the tools and techniques that we had been taught. Myself and my husband had questioned every decision being made to make sure there were no other options and confirming that everything we did on the day was the right thing for us and our baby. 

It wasn’t until I fell pregnant with my second child that I started to question wether I would be able to give birth naturally and without the help of some oversized salad tongs. 

I did what I always do when Im looking for information and extra support, I headed to the internet. No where could I find either a Facebook group or webpage that was built to support women who had a previous assisted delivery that wasn’t a Caesarian Section. 

Now, please don’t think I am saying that a forceps or ventouse delivery is even on the same level as a C-Section, because I’m not. I have the utmost respect for women who have had a C-section and I trained as a VBAC (Vaginal birth after Caesarian) coach because I fully understand the impact having a C-section has on women. 

I was just really surprised that there wasn’t anything out there for the other assisted delivery methods. 

I was hell bent on having a home birth this time round, I had pretty much worked out that the minute I left the comfort and safety of my own home that my labour began to start to slow down and stall and I did not want that to happen again. 

Despite me living and breathing birth and coaching countless women to believe in their bodies, as my pregnancy progressed I found myself slowly begin to doubt the ability of my body. I felt like a hypocrite. Why was there nothing out there to hold my hand and say hey it’s going to be ok, you can do this. 

If I was feeling like this, how do other women in my situation feel when facing this situation. I suddenly began to understand why people book for an elective caesarian to ensure they don’t have to go through the potential disappointment of attempting another natural birth but not achieving it. 

I had to stick to my roots and my beliefs. Every time those wobbles started to creep back in and I started to think that maybe I should just go into the hospital I had to push them back out because they were irrational and they were going to be wrong.

I ended up having an amazing home water birth, exactly as I had envisioned with the midwife only arriving 10 minutes before my little girl was born. I knew deep down that if I stayed at home I would OK, I just needed to trust myself and my body. 

If you are reading this after having an assisted delivery and you are pregnant again and desperately hoping not to have another assisted delivery do some research, attempt to find out what it was that meant you needed a little help. Take some time to read up on the impact of fear on a labouring woman as this quite often is what causes it. I know it was for me, my fear of being in that hospital, my feelings of not being safe totally shut my body down.

Here are a handful of things that helped me push away the wobbles as I neared my due date.
The Cancel Technique – A technique I was taught during my Wise Hippo training, the brain physically cannot think of a positive and a negative thing at the same time. If you are sitting there thinking negative thoughts about your birth then imagine a huge big red Britain’s got talent style cross and change what you are thinking about to something positive. It doesn’t have to be the exact opposite but just something positive like David Beckham rubbing suncream on your back.
Work out where it was that your labour started to change – Was it a change of scenery, was it a medical professional that you didn’t like, was it because you hadn’t eaten enough and didn’t have the energy there are a million different things that can happen that can derail your labour. Once you think you have worked out what it was, put things into place to ensure it doesn’t happen again.
Read up on the impact of fear on a labouring woman, adrenalin and the fight or flight reaction is not something you want to be happening when you are in labour.
Book some form of Hypnobirthing course, prepare yourself and learn all about your body and how to work with it in labour and not against it. Don’t bury your head in the sand and hope for the best.

About Vicky Barbour-Andrews

The Baby Experts - All round crazy lady, owner of two businesses, two little people and a husband. I am one of those people who just doesn't stop. On both of my maternity leaves I have chosen to start up a new businesses with my new 'spare time'. Some may call me crazy, some may call me stupid but to me I am just me, take me as I am as I do anything for a hassle free life as I believe it is for the living and enjoying - grab it by the balls people as we don't know how long we have here!


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