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So there we are sat in the kitchen, me and my husband looking at each other in absolute disbelief as we see the words ‘Your pregnant’ flash up on the tiny screen of the stick I’ve just peed on.

You see, it wasn’t as though this baby wasn’t planned, we had in deed talked about doing the deed and having baby V2.0 for quite some time and had planned when to have said baby around our work as we are both self employed and needed to make sure my husband would be in the country when it arrived.

The disbelief was at the fact that we had quite literally had our five minutes of fun just once, yeah thats right ONCE!

I don’t want this blog to offend anyone who has been trying for some time, I’ve been there and this is where the disbelief came from. When trying for our first baby we tried for quite some time. We had been through months of disappointment as Aunt Flo visited, to finally get pregnant only to lose out first baby to miscarriage. After what felt like months and months of trying we got pregnant again and 9 months later our lives changed and out popped our little man Arthur.

This was the journey I was expecting, I was expecting to be peeing on ovulation sticks, crying on the toilet each month as periods came and went and spending a fortune on early pregnancy detection tests as I am just too impatient to wait and see if everyones least favourite aunt was going to arrive.

But no, this wasn’t to be this time round. I genuinely thought that this only happened to the people who appear on Jeremy Kyle, it was the only time I heard about it happening. We’ve all seen that episode where you usually see two tattoo’d people with as many teeth between them as my little man has, claim to have only sat on the local park bench and had a little fumble and there you have it a baby is conceived.

So here I am coining a new phrase and calling what we have done as an ‘Only gone and done a Jeremy Kyle’ I would also whilst Im here like to add another that I thought of…

We could have an ‘Only gone and done a Sonia Jackson’ for those young’uns amongst us, Sonia in Eastenders went throughout her pregnancy not knowing she was preggo until little Rebecca made her arrival.

I am sure there are many phrases we can create to associate to the journey we go on to conceive and give birth to our little ones, can you think of any other phrases we could link to getting pregnant and giving birth?

Now ladies and gents, here comes the serious bit. Having a little one will be the biggest test of your patience you will ever go through (unless you are missing half your teeth and sitting on the park bench having a fumble with someone you just met on the number 25 bus) from the months of trying to get pregnant, then the waiting till your 12 week scan, then getting to 40 weeks and then when you go ‘overdue’ and the seconds seem to pass by like hours as the midwives wave the word indiction around you like its something to be pleased about.

Please don’t get disheartened each month as that bloody auntie rocks up again to taunt you. Keep trying, and try and enjoy it because I tell you it may be a while once that little one appears from your nether regions that you even feel like you have enough energy to lift yourself out of bed let alone lift your legs up high enough for decent sex!

If you are trying to conceive, pregnant or now the new owner of a little one come on over and give our Facebook page a like to read up on lots of funny and occasionally interesting articles and give me a wave (especially if you are currently sitting in disbelief looking at a pregnancy stick after ‘Doing a Jeremy Kyle’)


About Vicky Barbour-Andrews

The Baby Experts - All round crazy lady, owner of two businesses, two little people and a husband. I am one of those people who just doesn't stop. On both of my maternity leaves I have chosen to start up a new businesses with my new 'spare time'. Some may call me crazy, some may call me stupid but to me I am just me, take me as I am as I do anything for a hassle free life as I believe it is for the living and enjoying - grab it by the balls people as we don't know how long we have here!

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